The short answer
Which custody case you file depends on who you are to the child. Married parents settle custody inside their divorce. Unmarried parents handle it through a paternity case. If an order already exists and things have changed, you ask to modify it. Relatives who aren’t the child’s parents usually look at guardianship. Pick the right case first, because filing the wrong one costs time and fees.
Which situation are you in?
| Your situation | The usual path | Start here |
|---|---|---|
| Married, and divorcing | Custody is decided in your divorce case | Divorce forms with children |
| Not married to the other parent | A paternity case establishes custody and child support | Paternity |
| A custody order exists and life has changed | A motion to modify | How to change custody |
| A grandparent or relative stepping in | Guardianship, or a visitation request | Custody vs. guardianship |
| The other parent can’t be found | Alternate service, a court-approved way to notify someone you can’t locate. It works in all cases where you can’t find the other party | Ask the clerk what your court requires |
Every case is judged on the best interest of the child. See what that standard means and what custody actually covers.
If you aren’t married to the other parent
If there’s no court order, custody generally rests with the mother when the parents aren’t married. A father’s rights begin with a court order, and being listed on the birth certificate isn’t enough on its own. That’s why paternity matters. Read how paternity is established.
Related guides
- Filing for custody: the complete guide
- Emergency custody
- How child support is calculated
- Grandparent rights
- Contempt of court
- Reasons parents lose custody
When you need a lawyer
Talk to an attorney, or call Legal Aid if money is tight, if there’s domestic violence or abuse, a safety emergency, or a contested case you can’t settle.
Review record: All 2 flagged items reviewed by Brandon M. Haubert, latest 2026-10-25.